Men

If you are a man and are being abused, you are not alone.


NEED HELP? Call or text: (206) 462-0911 or (206) 940-6430  |  EMAIL: patty@vashondoveproject.org

no matter who you are

It happens


Domestic violence — also known as intimate partner violence — occurs between people in an intimate relationship. Domestic violence against men can take many forms, including emotional, sexual and physical abuse and threats of abuse. It can happen in heterosexual or same-sex relationships.

It might not be easy to recognize domestic violence against men. Early in the relationship, your partner might seem attentive, generous and protective in ways that later turn out to be controlling and frightening. Initially, the abuse might appear as isolated incidents. Your partner might apologize and promise not to abuse you again.

In other relationships, domestic violence against men might include both partners slapping or shoving each other when they get angry — and neither partner seeing himself or herself as being abused or controlled. This type of violence, however, can still devastate a relationship, causing both physical and emotional damage.

You might be experiencing domestic violence if your partner:

  • Calls you names, insults you or puts you down.
  • Prevents you from going to work or school.
  • Stops you from seeing family members or friends.
  • Tries to control how you spend money, where you go or what you wear.
  • Acts jealous or possessive or constantly accuses you of being unfaithful.
  • Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs.
  • Threatens you with violence or a weapon.
  • Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, chokes or otherwise hurts you, your children or your pets.
  • Forces you to have sex or engage in sexual acts against your will.
  • Blames you for his or her violent behavior or tells you that you deserve it.

It doesn't simply go away

What can I do?


Create a safety plan
Leaving an abuser can be dangerous. Consider taking these precautions:

  • Call a domestic violence hotline for advice. Make the call at a safe time — when the abuser isn’t around — or from a friend’s house or other safe location.
  • Pack an emergency bag that includes items you’ll need when you leave, such as extra clothes and keys. Leave the bag in a safe place. Keep important personal papers, money and prescription medications handy so that you can take them with you on short notice.
  • Know exactly where you’ll go and how you’ll get there.

Protect your communication and location

An abuser can use technology to monitor your telephone and online communication and to track your physical location. If you’re concerned for your safety, seek help. To maintain your privacy:

  • Use phones cautiously. Your abuser might intercept calls and listen to your conversations. He or she might use caller ID, check your cellphone or search your phone billing records to see your complete call and texting history.
  • Use your home computer cautiously. Your abuser might use spyware to monitor your emails and the websites you visit. Consider using a computer at work, at the library or at a friend’s house to seek help.
  • Remove GPS devices from your vehicle. Your abuser might use a GPS device to pinpoint your location.
  • Frequently change your email password. Choose passwords that would be impossible for your abuser to guess.
  • Clear your viewing history. Follow your browser’s instructions to clear any record of websites or graphics you’ve viewed.

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Green Dot Bystander Training 4/29 @ 5pm


This workshop will introduce you to the issues of power-based personal power prevention. Learning objectives include: Participants will recognize behaviors that may constitute domestic violence, sexual violence or stalking ...

Green Dot Bystander Intervention Training!


Free to members of our Vashon Island Community! Monday January 9th, 5:30-7pm or Saturday January 21st, 3:30-5pm Open Space for Arts and Community 18870 103rd Ave SW, Vashon This 90 minute training ...