6th grade Lesson:

Q: If you tell a trusted adult and they don’t do anything about it what should you do?

A: If they haven’t done anything, it would be good to talk to *another trusted adult, and if you still feel comfortable to check-in back with the first-adult and let them know it’s something still weighing on your conscience, check-in with a  different trusted adult.

 

Q: Why do people tease [me] about having friends who are boys…?

A: It’s important to think about those who you are close with and how you treat each other and make each other feel, regardless of gender. Along with that, it is also important to consider that good friends do not purposefully make you uncomfortable based on whom you associate with.

In decades past, the norm was to only associate on a regular basis with those of the same gender that you identify as or was assigned, but today we find ourselves in a transitional era in which it is more important to have good friends.

You are valid no matter whom you hang out with.

 

Q: Are the boys and girls going to be separated for the learning of the reproductive systems?

A: No, everyone will be together to learn about both reproductive systems.

 

Q: Why do the girls have to learn about the boys?

A: It’s important for us to know medically accurate information about both male and female reproductive anatomy because many people, throughout their lives, will have relationships with people that have different reproductive anatomy. It’s always good to be informed!

 

Q: How do I know when my period is going to come?

A: Sometimes it can be really sudden with little to no warning, especially if it is your first period. Some people may have cramping for a day to a week or so before. Over time you’ll be able to have a better idea of what the build-up looks like. Common premenstrual syndrome symptoms include mood swings, more acne, cramping and/or headaches, and others may feel more bloated or sore. These can be dealt with through taking a bath, having a hot pad, drinking some warm tea, and mostly practicing self-care.

 

Q: When will we start talking about the reproductive system?

A: Today! And last week.

 

Q: Will we learn about different sexual orientations?

A:  Yes, we are doing a gender and sexuality lesson at the end of our time here.

 

Q: What is the difference between Queer and Gay and Lesbian?

A: Queer is an umbrella term for someone who is not heterosexual/cis-gendered. It has also been used as a slur for a long time, so it still makes some people uncomfortable and it’s important to ask someone before using it to refer to them.  Gay refers to someone who is attracted to the same gender, and lesbian refers to a woman who is solely attracted to other women. We will talk more about this during the gender and sexuality lessons as well.

 

Q: What does queer mean?

A: Queer is an umbrella term for someone who is not heterosexual/cis-gendered. It was used as a slur for a long time, and it still makes some people uncomfortable. Always ask someone before using it.

 

Q: Why does it matter about your sexuality?

A: Many people see their sexuality as a defining character trait and a way to find a community. Since many people with LGB+ identities can be left out or rejected by our general society, many people find a lot of comfort in meeting similar people.

That being said, someone’s sexuality should not matter when it comes to showing respect.

 

Q: What are ways to show your sexuality without telling people?

A: You can do things like wear pride pins or stickers. There are lots of prints for clothing and other accessories that can convey your orientation without you having to announce it.

This can backfire in some ways, however, as some people might get stuck on the idea that you’re just a really passionate ally.

 

Q: How many different sexualities are there?

A: There is no set number of how many sexualities there are! People are constantly updating language to be able to describe themselves and how they feel. If labels aren’t your style, then there is no pressure to use one. The most important thing is to respect people’s choices and how they identify.

 

Q: What is a “TITTEE”?

A: I’m assuming you mean “titty”, a slang term for a breast.

 

Q: How do you put a penis in a vagina?

For vaginal intercourse, the erect penis is inserted slowly in the vaginal opening.

A: Being patient is a good way to start. Foreplay is really important because it gives time for the body to become aroused. This is really important for the vagina, as it expands and relaxes as one becomes aroused. The vagina will likely start producing some of its own lubricants, but it’s good to use more since this help make sex more pleasurable and less painful. When putting the erect penis inside the vagina, go slowly and keep checking in with your partner. Communication is the most important!

If entry sex (penis into vagina/anus) doesn’t sound appealing then that’s fine! There are different ways to have sex (you can learn more at http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/whats_sex) and if you don’t want sexual contact that’s fine too! Do what you feel comfortable with.

And don’t forget to use protection and get tested.

 

Q: Why do people say that sex is “pleasurable”?

A: People say that sex is pleasurable because, for many, having sex releases hormones called endorphins and dopamine which create feelings of pleasure, similar to eating chocolate. Also, sex is often a way that people share their love and affection for each other.

 

Q: What is 69?

A: 69 is the name a sex position where two people engage in oral sex. It is called that because the two numbers are said to look like people.

 

Q: What do you do if someone you know tells you they are depressed?

A: If someone tells you that they are depressed, it’s most important to be there for them as a friend and make sure that they have the resources they need. If you’re worried about their safety, you can contact a trusted adult, like a teacher, parent, or the school counselor

 

Q: Is it easy getting a girlfriend?

A: Everyone enters relationships at a different pace and some may find it more difficult or natural to start dating.

 

Q: Why do people make weird noises and moaning sounds?

A: It’s commonly thought that moaning is a way of expressing pleasure during sex, but this is different for everyone. Some people do it to communicate with their partner that they are enjoying what’s going on. However, some people are quiet because that feels better for them. It depends on what you feel like. As long as all parties are giving an enthusiastic yes for consent, the way you express enjoyment is up to you.

 

Q: Why is the sky blue?

A: A clear cloudless day-time sky is blue because molecules in the air scatter blue light from the sun more than they scatter red light. When we look towards the sun at sunset, we see red and orange colors because the blue light has been scattered out and away from the line of sight. Basically, the light wavelength for blue is the one that reaches our eyes during the day.

 

Q: How does an abortion work?

A: An abortion is a legal procedure that a person might undergo to terminate a pregnancy. There are two different types, one that uses medicine and one that uses surgery. We recommend https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/abortion to get more information on each.

 

“Abortion pill” is the popular name for using two different medicines to end a pregnancy: mifepristone and misoprostol. You’ll also get some antibiotics. This medicine causes cramping and bleeding to empty the uterus. It’s kind of like having a really heavy, crampy period, and the process is very similar to an early miscarriage. This is an option up to 70 days after a person’s last period.“

 

“There are a couple of kinds of in-clinic abortion procedures. Your doctor or nurse will know which type is right for you, depending on how far you are into your pregnancy. Suction abortion (also called vacuum aspiration) is the most common type of in-clinic abortion. It uses gentle suction to empty your uterus. It’s usually used until about 14-16 weeks after your last period.

Dilation and Evacuation (D&E) is another kind of in-clinic abortion procedure. It uses suction and medical tools to empty your uterus. You can get a D&E later in a pregnancy than aspiration abortion — usually if it has been 16 weeks or longer since your last period.”

 

Q: What if my dog raped me?

A: Jokes about rape aren’t funny. When you joke about this you contribute to normalizing rape culture, not caring who in earshot has been abused. One in 9 girls and 1 in 53 boys under the age of 18 experience sexual abuse or assault at the hands of an adult.

 

7th-grade First lesson

 

Q: If you have an uncircumcised penis can the skin on the tip pull back?

A: Yes! The foreskin can be gently pulled back for things like cleaning or putting a condom on.

 

Q: Do you know the earliest age a trans person can start hormones?

A: The best thing to do is talk to your health care provider about this because they will help figure out when is best for your body. Some doctors prefer to wait so that you go through puberty at the same time as your peers.

This also depends on parental consent. You can really start as early as your doctor believes is okay as long as your parents/guardians are on board.

Hormones blockers can also be a good alternative to getting hormones like testosterone and estrogen if your parents/guardians wish to wait. They are completely reversible and can give time to think about the next step while avoiding going through the wrong puberty.

If all else fails you can receive hormone therapy at 18 when you are a legal adult without parental consent.

 

Q: How many genders are there?

A: There are a lot! And it’s always changing as more people find words to describe their gender experience.

 

Q: When is the right time (on the female’s period cycle) to conceive a child, or does it matter?

A: According to the National Healthcare Society you’re most likely likely to get pregnant if you have sex within a day or so of ovulation (releasing an egg from the ovary). This is usually about 14 days after the first day of your last period if your cycle is around 28 days long.

However, this doesn’t mean that this will work, or that other times won’t work.

 

Q: How fast does a guy stream?

A: I’m going to assume you mean ejaculate, but feel free to shoot us an email if you meant something else! The average amount of time it takes for a man to ejaculate varies immensely. Everyone is different and may respond differently in different situations. There is no “wrong” length of time, and however long a specific man takes is perfectly normal.

 

Q: Average penis size for a 12-year-old?

A: It is about 2-4 inches when erect (hard), but that is just an average. There is no “wrong” penis size, and many people don’t fit into the given average.  Also, you aren’t fully developed until you are an adult.

 

7th Grade Lesson 2: Sexual Identity

 

Q: What does LGBTQ stand for?  How can you support someone like the Teen Council does?

A: LGBTQ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, and queer/questioning. One of the best ways to show support is to listen and research what you are talking about. Speak up at school if you see bullying, and when you get to high school maybe consider joining Teen Council to educate your peers.

 

Q; What was the name of the video we watched at the beginning of class?

A: It is called ‘Gender and Sexuality Animation’ by Kaleido Quail!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dF2YOw4xAd4

 

Q: What age can you have babies?

A: Physically, it is possible to have children once a person has started ovulating (producing eggs). However deciding whether or not to have children based on family and personal values, as well as religious.   

 

Q: How many kinds of STD’s are there?

A: The number of STD/STI’s vary depending on what is counted as an STI. The Medical Institute for Sexual Health lists 27 different infections. This includes viral, protozoal (single-cell), ectoparasitic, and bacterial.

 

Q: What does queer mean?

A: Queer is often used as an umbrella term for the entire LGBTQ+ community. This also helps to make sure that the identities that are reduced to a ‘+’ are included (like people who are pansexual or intersex). It can also be used for people trying to include all they identify as in one word or people who don’t have a clear identity to the label. It’s important to keep in mind that this is an in-group term, meaning that those not in the community need to ask before using it to refer to people (this is due to it being used as a slur).

 

Q: What is menopause?

A: Menopause is when a person stops having periods. This generally occurs later in life, between the ages of 45-50, and is linked to a change in hormone production that can make a person experience hot flashes, a decrease in sex drive, and other side effects.

 

Q: What is the bump on my vagina?

A: The vagina is the muscular tube leading from the external genitals to the cervix of the uterus.

 

If you have been having sex, you may want to talk to a parent or doctor to find out if you have an STI like Genital Herpes or Genital Warts.

However, if you are noticing a bump on your skin around your external genitals, it may be acne. This can be dealt with by keeping it clean, and not irritating the area.

You may also be referring to the clitoris, an organ that is located at the top of the vulva. It looks like a small button and responds to stimulation.

 

Q: What can you do to help a friend that is transgender?

A: A lot of this falls into what you can do to be an ally. Some of the major things are around educating yourself on terms and understanding that people are diverse and transitioning looks different for everyone. Be patient, supportive, and loving. It’s also important to be careful around where you use your friend's preferred pronouns/names. Because they may not be out in certain spaces, be careful about what you say. If you want to create a space that includes transgender people, you can try to make that clear upfront by stating your pronouns or by just saying that everyone is included no matter what. And like with the rest of life, if you realize that you don’t know something, that’s okay! It’s better to admit you don’t know something than to make an assumption or guess, you can always ask or look it up later.

If you want to know anything else, please feel free to contact us!

 

Q: If I have sex with a transgender guy am I gay or straight?

A: This is a good question. One thing to do is talk to your transgender partner about it. Sexual orientation often lines up with the gender of the person you are attracted to, if you are a straight girl, dating a transgender guy doesn’t make you lesbian (and being a straight man dating a transgender girl doesn’t make you gay). However, you may also be bisexual, pansexual, or anything else that isn’t gay or straight.

 

Q: What is mustard bating?

A: I’m going to assume you mean masturbating, but if you mean something else please contact us! Masturbating is the act of a person stimulating their genitals in a way that makes them feel good. Often it is done to achieve orgasm, however, not everybody does.

 

Q: How do you tell what sexuality you are/How do you know you are any of those?

A: Mostly it’s through learning more about yourself! Spending time exploring your sexual identity is completely okay! As you find out about different identities and learn about who you are and who you’re attracted to you can start making decisions on how to identify. Remember that no one gets to choose for you, and that you are not locked into your decisions, just because you identify one way at one time, doesn’t mean that it always has to be that way.

 

Q: What is an orgy?

A: An orgy is when a group of people get together to have sex.

 

Q: What are gay orgys?

A: A gay orgy is when a group of people of the same gender get together to have sex. It may also be used as an umbrella term for a group of people with a variety of sexual identities getting together to have sex.

 

Q: Asexual?

A: Yeah! An asexual person is a person who doesn’t experience sexual attraction to any gender! This doesn’t mean that an asexual (often shortened to ‘Ace’) person doesn’t feel a romantic attraction towards people, or desire a relationship, they just don’t feel a desire towards having sex. Asexual people do sometimes have sex, and if you’re in a relationship with an asexual person it is good to communicate around it to know boundaries.

 

Q:What would happen if a guy took birth control?

A: Most birth control pills are made of estrogen and progesterone. If a person with testosterone started taking these pills consistently over time they would lead to larger breasts, less facial hair, a decreased sex drive, and smaller testicles.

If you happen to be a transgender person looking to develop these secondary sex characteristics, please talk to a parent/trusted adult and consult a doctor. Taking birth control is not a good idea, and doctors can help with what kinds of hormones to take to achieve what you want.

 

 

8th grade Lesson 1: Creating the Classroom Climate

 

Q: When is a good time to have sex?

A: Whenever you feel ready. Do keep in mind, that the legal age of consent in Washington is 16. This also deals with your family/personal/religious values which can help you to make an informed decision around having sex.

 

Q: When you are going through puberty why is there hair growing down there all the time?

A: Growing hair in your pubic region is completely normal! The amount is different for everyone, and there is no “normal” amount. If you do wish to trim or shave it, do some research, and talk to a trusted adult about pros and cons.

 

Q: What is a dildo?

A: A dildo is an object generally shaped like an erect penis used for sexual stimulation.

 

Q: How can I grow a mustache?

A: You can’t really “make” yourself grow a mustache. The only thing you can really do is let yourself go through puberty and see if you do. It is perfectly normal for people to not be able to grow facial hair, and this doesn’t represent your worth.

 

Q: Are you supposed to shave your pubic hair?

A: This is completely based on if you want to or not and how it fits into your family values. If you feel like it’s just not something for you, for any reason, then don’t. If you like how it feels/looks then go ahead! Either choice is completely valid and up to you!

(Also be aware of the fact that some places, such as around your genitals, can feel really itchy when the hair starts to grow back after shaving)

 

Q: What age is the best age to have kids?

A:  This is based on family and personal values. If/when you decide to have children, you should be aware of how much it will take to look after another human being. It is important to consider all pros and cons before attempting to conceive or adopt a child.

If you’re asking about the best biological age to attempt to conceive, it’s very similar to above- when you’re ready. It’s important to consider your emotional and mental maturity, as well as your life plan. Being at a younger age with a child can be hard with school life.

Q: What is the maximum number of babies a female can have?

A: There is no maximum number of babies a woman can physically have, but the older a woman is the harder it is it conceive a child and give birth, resulting in miscarriages, and, in worse case scenarios, death.

 

Q: When will I get a butt and boobs?

A: This is something that is tied into puberty. Breasts generally start growing from age 8-13 and can continue until your early twenties. Your butt is more impacted by an increase in hip size also around this time. To know how puberty will impact you, you can look at your family history. It’s also important to keep in mind that none of this is tied to beauty. You are perfect to matter what.

 

Q: What is inbreeding?

A: Inbreeding is having children with closely related family members, like sister/brother, cousin/cousin, etc. In the U.S this is illegal, but specific laws tied to cousins having children together differ.

 

Q: How do you put on a condom?

A: This is a really good video about how to put on a condom:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b0H3RQYP4g

The main steps are:

Check the expiration date, make sure the condom hasn’t been damaged by checking that there is still air in the package, open the package carefully, make sure that the condom is going the right way (it should roll down easily), if you put it on the penis the wrong way, do not flip it over and reuse it–get a new one, pinch the tip of the condom and place it on the head of the penis*, leaves some space at the top and then roll the condom all the way down to the base of the penis.

When you are finished having sex and have ejaculated, hold the rim of the condom and pull your penis out BEFORE your penis goes soft, then turn away from your partner to make sure you don’t accidentally spill any semen in them, then take off the condom, tie it in a knot, and throw it away.

*If you are uncircumcised it may be comfortable to pull your foreskin back before putting the condom on.

Don’t be afraid to practice beforehand. If you ever want a condom, you can talk to a member of Teen Council, the school nurse, or you can buy them.

 

Q: My girl was scared of my baby maker, is that bad?

A: Nervousness about sexual contact is perfectly normal. However, your partner should never insult your body, or make you feel insecure. Try talking to your partner about the way that made you feel, and don’t be afraid to have the discussion on whether you are really ready for sexual interactions or not. If they say no, that is a valid response that you have to respect, but verbally insulting the way you look is not.

 

Q: My penis is circumcised, does that bolster my chances of getting a mate?

A: Circumcised, or uncircumcised, you are allowed to be comfortable in your body. Your partner should never make you feel ashamed of your body, and should instead support you.

 

Q: What is a wanker?

A: A wanker is a common British insult, generally directed at a man. It means a person who masturbates, but the connotations have changed to being an insulting word.

 

Q: Why do we get a lot of hygiene?

A: Try to shower once a day, and use deodorant. If you do use scented soap, be careful applying it to sensitive areas like the vagina or penis. This can cause irritation, rashes, and (for vaginas) yeast infections. Also, if you do have a penis, you can pull back the foreskin to wash there gently with water.

 

Q: What is a 69?

A: A position during sex involving simultaneous oral sex that vaguely resembles the number 69.

 

Q: What is a fetish?

A: A fetish is a form of sexual desire where pleasure is fixed to a particular object more than normal. The object can be things like clothing and body parts.

 

Q: What is the average size of a penis?

A: The average penis size in the U.S is about 5 inches when erect. However, that is just an average, and many people fall outside of that range, which is perfectly fine.

 

Q: Does the US have one of the worst sex-ed systems?

A: This depends on your values around sex ed. Often sex-ed will follow an abstinence-only sex education. Comparing it to other sex education systems around the world is difficult because often teaching is done based on what regions believe is appropriate for kids to learn.

 

Q: Is it true that the nurse will give out birth control to whoever asks?

A: No, the nurse is not allowed to give out unprescribed medication in that way.

If you need birth control you can find it at Vashon Natural Medicine or through Planned Parenthood. We recommend talking to your parent or guardian before getting them, however, you are able to get them without parental consent.

 

Q: Is it normal to masturbate at this age?  Is it okay for girls to do it?

A: Yup! It’s completely normal, no matter gender. It’s also okay to choose not to.

 

Q: What is an ejaculation?

A: Ejaculation can mean either the act, generally of a man, reaching orgasm. But it can also be used to specifically refer to the fluid released from the penis when a man reaches orgasm.

 

Q: What is oral sex?

A: Oral sex is a form of sex involving the mouth coming into contact with a partner’s genitals in order to cause stimulation.

 

Q: Can a girl's vagina fall out?

A: Nope! It is pretty firmly planted in there. However, if something is coming out of a vagina that you feel is not normal, we recommend talking to a trusted adult, and setting up a doctor’s appointment to see if something is wrong.

 

Q: What does sex feel like?

A: There is no one way that sex should feel. The big thing though, is that it should be consensual and without a power imbalance. It also should not be hurt (if it does you may need more lubricant). All in all, it should be fun and feel good.

 

Q: I saw a sign that said “looking for a bad MIF”, what is that?

A: I’m assuming the acronym was actually MILF which stands for Mother I’d Like to F*ck. This has come to mean an attractive older woman.

If the acronym was MIF it likely means Mother I’d F*ck, which is basically the same thing.

 

8th Grade Second lesson:

Healthy & Unhealthy Relationships

 

Q: Is it healthy for one partner to say you have a small penis?

A: Insulting your partner is never healthy! You and your partner should have a clear conversation about boundaries and how it makes you feel when they say things like that. If you’re not sure how to start that conversation, talk to parents, or another trusted adult, about how to open that communication.

 

Q: How does someone get out of an abusive relationship if their partner has threatened them?

A: Talk to a trusted adult who can look out for your safety while you leave. They can be there to intervene if anything goes wrong. It’s a situation that those at school like councilors and teachers, as well as your parents, guardians, and domestic violence agencies such as DOVE are here to help you with. If you ever need help figuring out what to do next, please don’t hesitate to contact us.

 

Q: How do people get stuck in unhealthy relationships?

A: There are a variety of reasons. Sometimes people just don’t realize a relationship is unhealthy. Many of the messages that the media pushes have behaviors that aren’t healthy, but we accept as being the standard relationship. Sometimes people are looking for a relationship to have more power/control over a partner, which is really unhealthy. The best thing to do to combat unhealthy relationships is to learn about them. And to know about the power/control wheel, as well as to understand the equality wheel to see what we want in our relationships. Communication is key, and many unhealthy behaviors can be dealt with by talking to each other.

That being said, sometimes the best solution is to get out, which is valid.   

 

Q: If you are adopted, is it all right to date your cousin?

A: While it might be legally all right, it could cause friction within your family. Talk to your parents about it, and open that communication.

 

Q: How do you get in a relationship?

A: There is no one way to get into a relationship. Communication is key

 

Q: What should I do if my partner won’t let me break up with them, they say they will kill themselves?

A: It is important to contact a trusted adult such as parents/guardians, counselors, or teachers to make sure that you can leave safely. Because your partner has threatened suicide, having adults in their life be aware to make sure they are safe is also important.

 

Q: What does sex feel like?

A: There is no one way that sex should feel. The big thing though, is that it should be consensual and without a power imbalance. It also should not be hurt (if it does you may need more lubricant). All in all, it should be fun and feel good.

 

Q: What is “pray the gay away” mean?

A: Pray the gay away is referring to the mistaken belief that being gay is a choice and that if one prays enough to God, the person will stop being gay.

 

Q: What effects does pornography have on your mind?

A: This is a layered question that can have a very complicated answer that covers a lot of different subjects. One of the most common things that can potentially happen is setting up unrealistic expectations of sex and relationships. This can cause unhealthy situations where a person can push their partner into doing things that aren’t safe. Porn can also cause a distance to people in real life and create a barrier in relationships based on what one perceives a relationship to be based on porn.

The porn industry can also create body image issues by leading people to believe that boob or penis size is important. Boys often get over conscious about penis size and become more fixated on body parts than on the feelings of attraction between people.

Because porn is also geared towards men, the women in the videos are often an unrealistic fantasy. There are often unhealthy power and control dynamics that are very prevalent. If someone watching doesn’t recognize this as unhealthy, they can bring it back into their relationships.

 

Q: What does a guy do with a condom?

A: A condom is used as a barrier form of contraception. Someone with a penis would put the condom on before engaging in penetrative sex. (Refer to the ‘How to put on a condom answer)

 

Q: What is an orgy?

A: An orgy is when a group of people get together to have sex.

 

Q: What does the slang word SALTS stand for?

A: I’m not sure exactly, but from what I’ve found it’s Smiled A Little Then Stopped. It would be used in place of lol or lmao.  

 

Q: Why does a male have genitalia?

A: All people have genitals, whether they are male, female, or other. Evolutionarily, we have genitals for reproductive purposes, but not all people want children, and we now have the option to choose if we want to be parents or not.

 

Q: Is it a healthy relationship when the only thing someone wants to do is cuddle and hang out at my house?

A: As long as you are okay with that then it’s fine! If you feel uncomfortable it’s always good to communicate that with your friend!

 

Q: What can I say to guys in class to stop them from rape?

A: Generally rape gets somewhat normalized by making jokes about it. One way to deal with this is to either not laugh or tell the person that it’s not funny. You can also spread awareness that it’s not something to joke about. Starting with your friends and going from there can be really useful. If someone just will not stop, you can bring in your teachers who would be completely behind preventing that behavior.

 

Q: I just got a girlfriend a couple of days ago and we both really like each other.  This morning she texted and said that she didn’t want a full-on relationship, but just being “really, really really good friends.”  Is it still acceptable for me to hold her hand or still act as if we are in a bf/gf relationship?

A: As long as you have consent from her you should be good! Hand holding and physical intimacy are not exclusively for romantic couples. Lots of friends also hug, hold hands, or cuddle. However, it is important to understand your friend's boundaries and communicate around them. And it’s important not to pretend to others that you are dating if it makes your friend uncomfortable.

 

Q: I watched a youtube video of an anti-feminist being made fun of because of the things she said, how is that abuse?  

A: Mocking another can be considered emotionally abusive behavior.

 

Q: Students have been making jokes about cyberbullying and then cyberbully people about their gender.  What can I do to end their bullying?

A: The best thing you can do is report it any time you see it happen. Tell a trusted adult like a parent or counselor. Websites and social media also have ways to block people and accounts so definitely use those functions. Some also allow you to report a user for violating the terms and conditions of the site, which often includes harassing people. You can also make sure that whoever is being attacked knows that you are there to support them. Being made fun of because of your gender identity really hurts, so it’s important to let them know that they are valid and that the bullies are immature and wrong.

You can also contact us if you need help or advice dealing with this.

 

Q: How can someone be an “it” because the dictionary says to be male you have to have the reproductive organ to fertilize an egg?

 

A: The dictionary is referring to the biological term male used to describe one’s genitals being a penis and testicles and having XY chromosomes.

“It” is a pronoun that should only be used with the consent of the person you are talking about.

 

8th Grade 3rd Lesson: Abstinence 

 

Q: What is cunnulingus?

A: Cunnilingus is the stimulation of the vagina with lips or tongue (oral stimulation of the vagina).

 

Q: Why is STI more PC?

A: STI is used in place of STD because it is more encompassing. Not all sexually transmitted infections become diseases.

 

Q: I want to be body confident, but I’m not. How do I change that?

A: One thing that may help is checking out Sonya Renee Taylor! She has a website called https://thebodyisnotanapology.com where she talks about self-love.

We also want you to know that you are perfect. You are whole, valid, and enough.

 

Q: What are the benefits of circumcision or non-circumcision?

Circumcision rates in hospital settings have fallen from 65 percent in 1979 to 58 percent in 2010, per the National Center for Health Statistics. But behind the numbers are contradictory opinions from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP): In 1999, the group stopped recommending routine circumcision. Since then, the AAP has reversed its position. Plus, what the stat doesn’t show is that many opt-in for religious or cultural reasons. And there are some families who choose not to do it because they think it’s akin to genital mutilation. Whether he still has that swatch of the skin or not, here’s what it means to you.

1. How it LOOKS
Uncut: The tip has a hooded look-think of an aardvark’s snout or a penis wearing a turtleneck.
Cut: The head resembles Darth Vader’s helmet.

2. How HEALTHY it Is
Uncut: Cleanliness takes an extra moment, other than that mostly it is a personal decision within the family between the parents.

 

Q: You said to wait until the right time. You can retire at around 50, so should you wait until around then?

A: If you want to! You should never feel pressured into having sex. If you want to wait until you have retired to have sex, then go ahead! When we talk about the ‘right time’ we mean a time in your life that fits with your family, religious, and/or personal values.

 

Q: What is a chode?

A: The most common definition of a chode is a penis that is wider than it is long. However it can also be a slang term for the perineum (the area between the anus and genitals).

 

Q: What if your partner wants sex, but won’t put on protection?

A: You can say no, especially if you are uncomfortable or you and your partner have not been tested for STIs. Your health is very important. One way to deal with this is to use other methods of protection. You can buy internal condoms or get birth control. You can hold off on having sex until you feel comfortable with whatever you choose to do. Your partner should respect your right to your body.

 

Q: What is a good age to have a child?

A: This is based on family and personal values. If/when you decide to have children, you should be aware of how much it will take to look after another human being. It is important to consider all pros and cons before attempting to conceive or adopt a child.

If you’re asking about the best biological age to attempt to conceive, it’s very similar to above- when you’re ready. It’s important to consider your emotional and mental maturity, as well as your life plan. Being at a younger age with a child can be hard with school and social life.

 

Q: Are certain cultures or races more likely to have STDs?

A: Nope! STIs affect everyone equally. What really impacts the spread of STIs is access to protection and education on prevention.

 

Q: Is masturbation bad for you?

A: Masturbation causes no physical damage to a person. However, some families do not condone it due to religious reasons. If you’re unsure about it, try and talk with your parents or a trusted adult about what your family believes, so you can make an informed choice about your beliefs.

 

Q: Can you have sex and then be abstinent?

A: Yes! Abstinence is just a conscious choice not to have sex. You can choose it for any length of time at any time.

 

Q: What does sex feel like?

A: There is no one way that sex should feel. The big thing though, is that it should be consensual and without a power imbalance. It also should not be hurt (if it does you may need more lubricant). All in all, it should be fun and feel good.

 

Q: Why do y’all say, “Abstinence is 100% effective” when it didn’t even work for the virgin Mary?

A: I asked my Catholic Contact about this and here is their response:

“[It’s] because this involved an archangel named Gabriel and the Will of God descending from above. Unless you have been chosen by God to bear the Messiah, abstinence will work 100% of the time. Hope this cleared things up.”

-The In-House Catholic.

 

Q: What is a foot job?

A: A foot job is a term referring to sexually stimulating a penis with one’s feet.

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Q: Why do boys have penises and girls have vaginas?

A: Actually, a boy can have a vagina and a girl can have a penis! But if you mean how each develops

 

Q: What is cum?

A: Cum is a slang term used to refer to the mixture of proteins and sperm a penis releases when ejaculation occurs.

 

Q: What is precum?

A: Precum or pre-ejaculate is a small amount of seminal fluid released by the penis before ejaculation. It works to clean out the urethra of bacteria and urine. While it is rare, there may be sperm in pre-ejaculate, especially if someone has ejaculated recently.

 

Q: Is it possible to get an STD from oral sex?

A: Yes, it is possible. STIs like herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HPV can all be transmitted through oral sex. You can prevent the spread of these infections by using a dental dam or condom when giving or receiving oral sex. It is also always good for you and your partner to be tested before engaging in sexual activities.

 

8th Grade Protection Methods

 

Q: What happens if you have anal sex and poop comes out?

A: It is not unheard of for this to happen. Make sure to stop and clean up. The fecal matter being near or in the vagina can cause infections like a UTI.

 

Q: Can you take the morning after pill right after sex, or do you have to wait a while?

A: Right after! It’s actually recommended to take it as soon as possible after sex because your window to take it is so small. The morning-after pill, or Plan B, is only an option for up to 72 hours. It has an effectiveness of 95% in 24 hours and 89% if taken in 72 hours.

 

Q: Is it bad to fist a girl in the butt?

A: As long as it is consensual, there is nothing “bad” about it. Make sure to have a clear conversation beforehand about what you both expect, and go slowly. If you are still not sure if you are comfortable with the idea, talk to a trusted adult who can help you figure it out.

 

Q: Why isn’t pulling out on the Protection Methods Chart? Planned Parenthood has it on their chart.

A: Planned Parenthood is most likely listing it because it is a method. However, pulling out is not an effective method of preventing pregnancy, and it does not prevent STIs. Because pre-ejaculate can contain sperm, and because you may not be able to move fast enough before ejaculating, you can be putting your uterus baring partner at risk of pregnancy. You may also not be able to move far enough away from your partner and still get sperm on them, which can find its way to the vagina. And because you are having skin to skin contact there is no protection against STIs.

We recommend always using some layer of protection. If you don’t want to use an external condom, you may consider using an internal condom.

 

Q: Is it true that it’s bad to keep condoms in your wallet?

A: It’s not a good idea, for sure. Because of the increase in friction from opening and closing your wallet, and from it just moving around in your bag or pocket, the condom is more likely to tear. They also get exposed to heat and cold which also increases their risks of tearing. If you want to keep them in a bag, you may want to put them in a hard case, such as a business cardholder.

 

Q: Can a man get an STI from a woman?

A: Yes. STIs affect all genders equally.

 

Q: If a condom breaks during sex will I be pregnant?

A: Not necessarily. Especially if you have been regularly taking birth control. However, if you aren’t you’re going to need to work quickly. If this occurs you may want to consider Plan B or the morning-after pill. This is a type of emergency contraception with a success rate of 95% if taken in 24 hours and 89% if taken in 72 hours. It can be bought over the counter, or you can get it for free at DOVE. Planned Parenthood can also give more options and support. After about two weeks if you haven’t gotten your period, you may want to take a pregnancy test.

We encourage you to talk to a parent or trusted adult to get support.

It's also important for you and your partner to go get tested for STIs because you have come into contact with genital fluids and skin, which is how you get exposure to STIs.

 

Q: What is a rim job?

A: A rim job is a slang for the performance of oral sex on the anus.

 

Q: What’s cowgirl style?

A: Cowgirl style, also known as riding, is when one partner lies on their back, while the other partner sits on top facing them.

 

Q: What is the point of flavored condoms?

A: Flavoured condoms are made for having safe oral sex. Because latex doesn’t taste very good, they have multiple flavors to make it better.

However, keep in mind that they are not made for vaginal sex and can cause yeast infections.

 

Q:  If two people are drunk and have sex who’s charged with the rape charge?

A: This is a really complicated situation. Really, if both people are drunk, neither can consent. However, if both people while intoxicated consented, most likely neither will charge the other. But if one person doesn’t want sex/is passed out, then it is considered rape. This is a very convoluted situation, and I urge you to talk to a trusted adult or contact Teen Council if you need help figuring out what to do in a situation like this.

 

Q: What happens if a condom is expired?

A: When latex gets old it starts to dry out and become more brittle and lose their strength and flexibility. When this happens, it’s more likely to tear during sex. Expired condoms can also irritate skin and cause minor rashes. It’s also important to note that how the condom was stored can influence this. A condom that is stored in a cool dry place should last for up to 6 years. A condom stored in a wallet or pocket where is it exposed to heat or moisture is less likely to survive that long.

This is the same for both internal and external condoms.

 

Q: Can you use birth control and a condom at the same time?

A: Yes! Condoms are a barrier form of contraception, so they protect against STIs when used correctly. Some people use birth control to regulate hormones and periods, and still use condoms during sex to protect themselves or their partner from an STI.

 

Q: Are penises really that big?  The condom was huge

A: The average penis size for an adult is about 5 inches when erect. The material that condoms are made out of is extremely stretchy so it can accommodate most penises.

 

Q: Are there bigger sizes of condoms?

A: Yes! There is a wide range of condom sizes. It is important to find one that really fits you because if it is too big, the condom is at risk of falling off during intercourse. One possible way to test condom sizes is to masturbate with one before having sex, so as not to “ruin the mood” with an ill-fitting condom.

 

Q: What if you are like me and none fit?  Is it appropriate to tape multiple condoms together?

A: There are many sizes of condoms, and you can try out different sizes to try and find one. But whatever you do, do NOT tape two condoms together! That is extremely unsafe and severely lowers the effectiveness. If you are engaging in vaginal sex, you can try an internal condom, which goes inside the vagina and provides quite a bit of space.

Q: How does abortion work?

A: Here is a helpful video that explains it in an understandable way: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWKqeJxzeBc

7th Grade:

 

Q: What is an Alabama hot pocket?

A: An extremely dangerous sexual act, in which a person introduces fecal matter to the vagina. This can lead to UTIs and other infections within the vagina.
   

Q: What is a frosty Jim?

A: A frosty Jim is when a condom is filled with urine and frozen, then used as a phallic object. This can be a dangerous practice, that is not recommended.

 

Q: A friend said that there are flavored condoms for oral sex, is that true?

A: Yes, however, keep in mind that they are not made for vaginal sex and can cause yeast infections.

 

Q: Medically, what is the right time for sex?

A: In the state of Washington you cannot give sexual consent until your 16. There is no ‘medical’ right time for sex. There is a general idea of when humans reach mental maturity (around 25), but it is entirely up to your morals.

 

Q: Do you have to wear protection when you are having sex?

A: We highly recommend using protection to prevent pregnancy and/or the spread of STIs. Unless you and your partner(s) have been tested and are clean and are not worried about pregnancy, then you can have a conversation about not using them. If you are unconcerned about pregnancy, keep in mind that STIs can still be spread.

 

Q: How fast does a woman take to make milk?

A: Women generally begin to produce milk during pregnancy, and throughout the time they are breastfeeding. However, some women don’t produce breast milk throughout breastfeeding or don’t produce it at all. It varies from person to person, and there is no ‘normal’.

 

Q: Is masturbation good or bad?

A: Physically, masturbation doesn’t hurt your health, and can even be good for you. It is completely up to you whether you choose to, or not, but it is completely normal and healthy.

 

Q: Does a condom work?

A: A condom is 98% effective at preventing pregnancy, and if used correctly can prevent STIs, such as HIV, by 98-99%. Keep in mind that these statistics require that you know how to correctly use a condom, so make sure that you are aware of before engaging in sexual activities.  

 

8th Grad Lesson: STI’s & HIV

 

Q: What is the treatment for HIV exactly?

A: While a cure does not exist, the most common treatment is Antiretroviral Therapy (ART). ART drugs can keep a person healthy for many years by reducing the amount of viral load (virus) in your blood or bodily fluids. This can also reduce the chance of the virus spreading to your partners.

There is also post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP), an ART drug that should be taken within 72 hours of exposure to the virus. If you have been sharing needles, having sex, or have been sexually assaulted by someone you believe to have HIV, see a doctor immediately to talk about your options. This drug is effective in preventing an HIV infection if taken correctly.

 

Q: What is the difference between HIV & AIDS?

A: HIV is a virus that may cause an infection, but AIDS is a condition or a syndrome. Being infected with HIV can lead to the development of AIDS, which stands for acquired immunodeficiency syndrome. AIDS develops when HIV has caused serious damage to the immune system.

 

Q: How do women know when to push when giving birth?

A: When giving birth, people feel contractions following cervical dilation. When this occurs, it is recommended to push about three times. If the person is in the hospital, their nurse will be able to help out in the timing.

 

Q: Can an STI be transmitted if the girl has underwear on?

A: It’s less likely, but it’s not impossible. It’s best to use protection unless you are absolutely sure neither of you has an STI.

 

Q: Should people with HIV or AIDS not be allowed to have sex so that more people will not die?

A: When you have HIV/AIDS and are in a relationship that might be sexual, the first thing you need to do is tell your partner. They should be able to make an informed decision on whether they want to have sex. There are also different ways to have sexual interaction that doesn’t involve contact with semen, vaginal fluids, pre-seminal fluids, or rectal fluids. Condoms and other protective methods also help. There is also medication that the person without HIV can take to lower their risk of getting it by 98% (this is called Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP))

 

Q: Has anybody gotten rid of AIDs?

A: Because AIDS refers to the symptoms taking advantage of a person’s lowered immune system, I’m going to guess that youŕe actually referring to HIV, which is the virus. While there is no cure at this time, some scientists have patients who have gone through a ¨sustained remission¨ where a person is able to fight back against the virus naturally, without the need for Antiretroviral Therapy (ART).

 

Q: What STI can be spread by french kiss or saliva?

A: The STIs that you can get through kissing are Herpes, Hepatitis B, Syphilis, and HPV. Herpes can be transmitted through skin contact and chances increase if there are any sores around the mouth. Hepatitis B can be passed through saliva and open sores, but you can be vaccinated against it. Syphilis and HIV can only be passed if both partners have open sores, so it’s unlikely but possible. HIV can be passed through deep french kissing if there are open sores or cut/bleeding gums.

 

Q: Why do some girls eat the cum?  It’s so gross.

A: Some people find it to be erotic. Whether or not you swallow ejaculation should be up to you and your belief system. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do.

 

Q: Can you get HIV or AIDS by kissing?

A: It depends. While HIV does not spread through saliva if both partners have open sores or cuts, the blood from the infected partner could get into the other partner. Again, this requires both partners to have open cuts.

 

Q: Do vaginas loosen over time when you have sex a lot?

A: No. The vagina can stretch at the moment, but after having sex, the vagina will return to the size it was before. The vagina only really gets ‘looser’ after childbirth or when someone gets old.

 

Q: Where can I go to learn more?

A: We highly recommend the Center for Disease Control (www.cdc.gov). You can also check out Scarleteen http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexual_health/the_sti_files_human_immunodeficiency_virus_hiv

And as always, you can email us or use the submission form on our website.

 

Q: Is vagina fluid safe to drink?

A: Only if your partner does not have an STI and is keeping up with proper genital hygiene. If you are concerned, you may want to use a dental dam.

 

Q: Can you be born with HIV?

A: Yes. However, there is medication a pregnant parent can take to prevent it from spreading to the child.

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Feel free to reach out if you have any other questions that we can help with!